[El Deac]

What does that word bring to mind? Someone who has a high regard for herself, an internal compass, strong self awareness of her own behaviors and reactions and enough confidence and inner strength to stand up for herself. Most negative behaviors stem from weakness and low self esteem. A quality woman believes she is deserving of a great life and a worthy man, and that life and he in turn are deserving of her best.

What does she look like? Hmmm . . .there are looks that I consider attractive, but those are subjective and have a little to do with quality, some losers still hit the genetic jackpot and come out with great legs even if they never develop the emotional strength to stand on them . . .how a quality woman looks, well, she's an outward expression of her self. She keeps in shape, she knows what works for her in clothes, hair style, etc and she controls her look. If she wants to look great for a night out, she does it. If she needs to look a certain way to project competence at work, she does it. She maxes out what she has.

What does she act like? Centered . . .she acts more than reacts, and if she goes into reaction mode it's because she has given herself permission to, not because she's externally directed all the time. She has situational awareness, knows what is appropriate for where she is and who she's with. There are times to turn it on, and times to tone it down.

What makes her different than other women? She sees living as creative act, not passive response. She designs her own life and seeks a man who synchs with her values and wants, rather than letting life take her where it will and adopting to where it flows. She seeks what she wants from a place of confidence. For all the talk of 'women testing men' I don't think a lot of women test enough, or test wisely . . . or they test without knowing where they want to go . . . it's not enough to know that the plane is structurally sound and can stay aloft, helps to know it's destination.

Why would you want her? Because she fits my life. She wont be a drag, she wont hold me back, I wont have to apologize for her . . .instead she'll encourage, support and inspire me to make more of my life and be great fun every step of the way.

How long would you work to claim such a prize? Impossible to answer because context is everything . . .on the one hand I've worked much of my life on being a better me, started evolving towards being The One for her long before she appears on my radar screen . . .a physician may only need 30 mins to diagnose and treat a patient, but he spent years in school learning how to do it. Same with women, once meeting her the fuse can be lit pretty quickly, but a lot of time can have gone into having the lighter primed and ready to go. Once I meet her, well I expect her to show through her behavior that my impressions are valid. If I think we synch, but after two months her handling of her end of the relationship says otherwise I'm going to reappraise and consider that I misjudged her, because again, a smart woman who knows what she wants doesn't need me investing six months in convincing her I'm it. There's a huge contradiction there. But, if it's clear she's investing in the relationship but there are issues and problems, I'm not going to put a time limit on their resolution so long as we're both seeing progress.