To answer your first question. Any sarcasm, especially done with a wry smirk, is a good way to brush off an insult. You can also give a slight dismissive wave of your hand and turn away from the jackass, as if his existence isn't worth any more of your attention.
Banging a bud's ex-GF is dangerous, but only if he's a real friend. I could give you a long explanation but, honestly, if you have to ask why, you probably need to find out for yourself, the hard way.
There's a big difference between not giving a shit about what people think -- especially strangers --- and being callous with your friends and loved ones. It's called heart.
You as the alpha man no longer try to measure up to people's standards and approval. Instead, you measure their value to you. So what's worth more, a buddy who will cover your ass in the heat of battle, or a chick who might feel good in the moment but could flake on you later or break your heart or simply phase out of your life, as women often do?
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