Right-brain conversation

[Dante]

Hi CJ, I have a particular sticking point which hopefully you may be able to help with part of. I have the Alpha man program and find that I already possess a lot of that which is talked about.

My problem is conversation. I'm sure you're familiar with left brain (logical/rational/abstract) - right brain (emotional/holistic/creative) distinctions etc. I've done a few internet tests and come out hugely left brain dominant. This tallys with my experience and means I 'currently' think always in logical/objective ways. People become easily bored when there is no emotional content in your conversation unless they have the same goals. In the past I never really cared much for 'social vibing' even with friends so although I knew what was happening, it never bothered me.

Now that I have decided to do something definite about improving my interaction with women it is causing me some difficulty - my current conversational style isn't particularly engaging to them to say the least, so I tend to keep my mouth shut a lot of the time. People in the past always interpreted it as shyness etc.. which I considered bs, I interpreted it as them not connecting with what I am talking about evidenced by the blank looks on their faces and the scratching of many heads. I am working to improve my lateral thinking/use of my right brain/imagination through various exercises (any pointers?).

My question to you is what generalised topics should I consider focusing on or building awareness of for emotionally engaging conversation/interaction? I'm thinking along the lines of humour, travel, people/relationships, entertainment/media etc..

If anyone else has overcome this hurdle themselves then please chip in also. But believe me - just talk to her - is NOT the answer, my current default 'talk to her' is not the right kind of 'talk to her'!

Thanks for any help and good luck with the site that I heard you were working on, I hope it all comes together.

Dante

ps: I think this may also interest sisai if he is out there.

[cjchandler]

Hello Dante:

If I understand you correctly, you are stating that you already possess the attributes of an Alpha man. Congratulations, you are ahead of the game.

Yes, you should become well versed on matters of travel, people/relationships, music, media etc. Knowledge is only a powerful tool if you know how to apply it. Make sure whatever it is that you decide to chat about; you are genuinely interested in the subject.

Forget about focusing on what you are not doing well- find out what is alive in you. What actions can you take that will enrich your life?

You must find some celebration in your world even if it’s foreign to you and not how you grew up.

In order to emotionally engage your audience, (and that can be anyone, not just women) you need to be passionate about your topic.

What do you like to do?

I love to cook and bake; when I talk about a recipe I am going to make for a dinner party my audience is captivated- I use just enough details to get them salivating…

Enthusiasm is contagious, get her going on a topic that is near and dear to her heart and she will flock to you like a moth to a flame.

If you feel like you are running out of something to say, ask her a few questions. Just make sure it doesn’t seem like you are grilling or interviewing her.

Some questions to ask are:

If you were stranded on a deserted island for the rest of your life and could only have one food, one book, what would that be?

Openers can also get you going in conversation. Make sure when you use an opener that you can back it up. For example, Carlos likes to use,� Hi, I just had to let you know that you have a nice energy about you my name is Dante. Do not be afraid to tell her what it was that caught your eye.

In a first meeting, woman are really not that interested in what the other person thinks/says, they want to hear what’s alive in you.

Be careful not to think too much about what you are, you do not want to put yourself in a casket of labels.

Make sure that when you do engage a woman in conversation that you know when to release. Even if you are passionate about something, you will bore someone if you go on and on.
At this stage, you just want to drop a few crumbs for them to follow.


Here is an example of some great fodder. The grocery store I have found is a wealth of knowledge- If I did not shop, I would not get to see the outrageous headlines on some of the Rags. The other day, I spotted “Bradagelina� splattered across the front page of a magazine.

The photo was of Brad Pitt trailing behind Ms.Jolie- looking foolish and sheepish, while Angelina was marching ahead as if she ruled the world. We know who is not Alpha in that relationship!

Then there is “Tomkat�- we do not need to say much about Mr. Cruise- he is Alpha Man Overload.

Typically, I am not a media junkie/groupie but the fact that Brad has lost his Alpha Status to a woman IS newsworthy. I say to Brad, what are you thinking man?

Oh, I wander, the case in point is, that there is always tons of information to process and talk about. I am sure you can get women excited about the above topic.

You can ask a woman how it makes her feel to see the former sexiest man in the world walked on a leash by his woman. Maybe that is a bit to harsh- you get the point.

In closing Dante, none of this means ditty if you do not go out and practice. Yes that means you have to talk. So what. Talk to everyone and anyone you meet. Learn how to make small talk, use the nice woman behind the counter at your local department store, the folks on the check out stand at the market- take a long ride on the tube, talk to everyone you meet.

Keep it simple. That’s a lovely blouse, where did you get it? Wow, something smells wonderful, is there an Indian restaurant nearby…

Instead of going to your head and trying to analyze- go to your heart and try to connect with what other people are feeling.

Every success brings you a bit closer to your goals- mourn and empathize with your failures and move on.

“The highest form of human intelligence is the ability to observe without evaluating.�

Best of luck,


Cj Chandler


PS… Interesting, I only mentioned to one person that Ms. Cj Chandler is going to have her very own site. Are you psychic?

[Dante]

Whoa! That's some reply girl. Thanks for taking the time and effort, it is much appreciated - I'll need a while to digest it, then I'm sure you'll here from me again.

Ciao.
Dantè


Knowledge is only a powerful tool if you know how to apply it - Ms. CJ Chandler