First DAte

[Steve]

I am a married man 49yrs old. Have not had sex with my wife for over 5 years and have always been faithful.

Recently, however, I have been using seduction and attraction courses to improve my chances of finding a new woman.

I have known Maria (not her real name) for over a year, purely as a working relationship (I was consulting for the company she works for)..since finishing my assignment there I asked her if she would like to catch up for "a quick bite of lunch when I was in her area"...she agreed.

I was not expecting anything but..to cut a long story short....we had great rapport going...she was interesting to me...we covered her favourite movies, books; talked about her mother who lives overseas; touched upon her work; and laughed quite a bit...

We had wonderful sustained eye contact throughout most of the 2 hour "quick bite to eat at a local cafe/sandwhich bar. She would let me touch her arm, and I briefly held her hand at the table. I am certain there was some attraction there.

However, when she tried touching me she would almost pat my are and pull away...not real contact....( I know she is very shy - 41 years old - and without a partner - she is waiting for her knight in shining armour...).

Upon leaving the cafe she made a point of saying "I had a good time." and was about to ask "did you???" but she stopped short of this for some reason....

When walking out of the cafe my hand was briefly on her upper back (her hair felt so soft and nice).

When we arrived at the front of her building...I put my arm around her and was going to kiss her on her mouth....when she quite deliberately turned her cheek for me to kiss..........(Is this as bad a sign as I think it is - or is she just making me wait)?

Is this ok...or am I losing here somewhere....

We are going to have lunch again this week (and if all goes well I am going to ask her for another date this coming Saturday)

Can I have your opinion on this.....(I was so lost in her eyes...and I think she was in mine too.......)...it seemed so right......[maybe I should just be a litlle more patient]?

Steve

[Steve]

Well we had our second date...

It was pretty much the same as the first...same emotions, great eye contact, I was touching and caressing her arm...complimenting her earings and rings.......again excellent sustatined eye contact....seemed perfect....

Walking back to her building this time she kept moving close to me....I asked her if she liked pancakes and alternatively, freshly made pizza ( ... I asked her this because I know this place about an hours drive away where the make the best pancakes around...another place nearby makes really great pizza - I thought I could take her for a drive the following Saturday)...

Anyway...as we approached her building this time I said to her...."mmm...I was thinking.......What are you doing on Saturday"??

She replied " Oh, I have this Shower on"

I said hey that sounds great, you will enjoy that, have a great time" (of course I was disappointed....

This time when I went to kiss her, I did not put my arm around her, I leaned in and I deliberately kissed her on the cheek.....

I figured she did not my attempt after our first date and maybe this was the game she wanted to play...

She then said " thanks for lunch.......I will call you"

Why do i suspect this means "Don't call us....we will call you...."

Am I being silly....is everything just normal...or am I being a WUSS.......??

HELP!!!!

Steve

[Dimos]

She was ready to kiss on your second date... your mistake was that instead of going for it you attempted to get a third date.

[cjchandler]

Hey Steve:

First things first. My condolences- a sexless marriage is unhealthy for both you and your wife. I am not here to pass judgment- lovemaking is a vital part of a relationship, be it with a lover, wife, or husband.

A 41 year old woman who has never been married is likely to have some compatibility issues with men- at this point in her life she is set in her ways and obviously fairly comfortable at being alone.

At some point, she thought she was going to meet her prince, as that has not occurred; my guess is she may be a little bitter.

What most women need and want are for men to take the initiative.

Kissing is so important to me. A bad kiss can eliminate the need for date two. A woman needs to know if a man will be able to pleasure her, and it all starts with how well he kisses.

A good first kiss is a light kiss on the lips, just lingering long enough, so I can inhale the essence of you.

A bad first kiss is a quick peck on the cheek. Please give me a break, what are you my aunt Betty.

In the meantime, (assuming you have been honest), I assume she is aware of your marital status. Married equates to unavailable.

My guess is you would have to totally knock her socks off for her to even consider you as a contestant.

In order for her to rationalize and assuage her guilt for being with a married man, she must feel like she was rendered powerless by your seduction prowess and overwhelming unapologetic masculinity.

Keep this is mind when you try to resolve your marital woes:

Great sex does not equate to true love- but great lovemaking has everything to do with being truly in love.



Good luck.

Cj Chandler

[Steve]

Thankyou both for your replies......I guess I now just have to move on............NEXT!!!!

Particular thanks to you CJ.....yes she is very aware of my "married status"......

I guess I have not "played this game" for over 20years...and I have a lot to learn....relearn.........but quite frankly I enjoy this Dating and flirting thing very much......

I guess I also was of the opinion that, asking her to lunch was "taking the initiative"....and going for the mouth kiss was also "taking the initiative"....I think you are absolutely correct ....she may have men compatability problems......I guess I may need to reconsider........


Thanks again...

Steve
PS: if she does call me again...and we meet again....I will keep you informed......(plenty more fish in the sea though)..