How to handle this "conflict"

[ExpatAlpha]

Hey CJ,
I'm a new member and I have to say that I sought out the Alpha Power program because of the girl that I am involved in. I have to say that I have already realized more about myself and my shortcomings in three months than in any previous 5 year period of my life. But my question today is about a specific situation. I am dating a girl who now believes that I am incapable of "handling" her. We have been together on and off for almost a year and until last month, I never experienced how she, as she calls it, "creates conflict." We were never closer than we were that night. We were both open and vulnerable having just spent all night making love when she tells me that she is going to Vegas from Europe mind you). Well, not actually, she was going to go, but decided not to. The problem is that she was going to go with an ex who is still a friend. Well, needless to say that it went from a discussion to a full blown incident with me finally asking her to leave. I was completely blindsided by the whole thing and regret that I wasn't able to manage it.

We are back together, but the damage may be irreparable. She doesn't consider us a "couple" to begin with although we see each other regularly and are exclusive sexually. I am 17 years older, not from her culture, and here maybe only for another 10 months. Her ex is culturally similar, can handle her, and in her words is easy to be with. She isn't romantically involved with him but does spend alot of time with him, as she also loves his 3 year old daughter. He's still in love with her and still trying to get her back, which she tells me will never happen. We both want a family, for me, my second try, but she needs someone who can defuse her. And I seem to be a little too combative.

How can I shift her mood, defuse the conflict in a humorous, caring way that shows her I am level headed, stable, and can lead her in that way? This is the most important thing for her, I'm sure of it.

[c-rock]

"The problem is that she was going to go with an ex who is still a friend."
red flag.
She's stringing both you and the ex along, and you're both being suckered by it. She is enjoying it, there are women like this who actually enjoy this kind of thing.
-Dump her, and move on. She's too unstable and too immature to respect you, nor does she respect you by saying that she is going to Vegas with an Ex, the same Ex thats still in love with her? and if on this trip do you not think for a moment he is going to try to win her back, with seduction, and the fact that they share a 3 year old child?
People hook up in Vegas --
I would act from this paradigm "let her go, let her problems be, and maybe its not for me"
You have other options, and you are thinking too scarce,think abundance.