Best Conversational Gambits

[imported_carlosX]

I'd like to find out from you guys what you use to answer women's testing and questions.

Examples:

"What do you do?"
"What kind of car do you drive?"
"Where do you work?"
"How old are you?"
"Are you picking up on me?"
"Are you a player?"
"Do you say this to all the girls?"
"I'm not having sex with you..."

Etc.

And please post questions or situations you've been in where you flunked the test. (or passed it!)

Here's my answer to the last one (which I've only gotten once - verbally, to my recollection, and failed miserably):

HER: "We're not having sex tonight..."
ME: "You're right, I think this is a bit fast... let's slow it down a little." And then resume escalation. Repeat as necessary.

OR

ME: "I know ... doesn't this feel good, though?"

Remember: she wouldn't say it if she wasn't afraid she'd do it.

[Kevin]

Over the weekend a girl tried to whack me with a bitchy test and asked why I was teasing her (for chatting up a bartender), saying something like "why do you keep doing this to me, is this related to some problem you have with your small penis?"

And she almost shocked me off-game. I stumbled but just for a split-second (with a smile!) and then half-turned to her friends and said "She really does like me, huh?" then turned slightly back towards her and said "that's always a give-away when a woman worries about penis size. Don't worry, everything is fine, no worries [downward nod] there."

We go out on Thursday.

(Yes, this Thursday... phone session might be tough!)

[Paul]

Well, you did a good job keeping your composure, Kevin. Picked up on that little test right away.

For me, the last bitch test I remember getting from a girl I met not too long ago. Immediately, I had her attraction and she was a hottie. Teased her, didn't give in to her little sexual cues I know most guys would have, and she was getting pissed, lol.

A kid I know was total BETA and trying to get her so bad. So, as a test she acted interested in him to get me jealous. I know this because when she sat on his lap, I gave her the thumbs up. She immediately gets off him and says to me, "I just can't figure you out!"

I think it's safe to say I passed the test.

[cedar]

Originally Posted by carlosX

"What do you do?"

'Professionally? I tell computer people what to do.' Stack into how much people hate the help desk and those uppity geeky types. Only works on corporate folk. If they're not corporate type I feign any knowledge of computers and complain how complicated they are.

Originally Posted by carlosX

"What kind of car do you drive?"

'Boring family car. Nice leather seats. Cleans up easier.'

Originally Posted by carlosX

"Where do you work?"

'Wells Fargo.' Half the time I get a 'I work there too!' They only employ 15000 people near my house...

Originally Posted by carlosX

"How old are you?"

'Ancient. I'm 32 next month.'

Originally Posted by carlosX

"Are you picking me up?"

'OMG! Are you hitting on the married guy!' make a big commotion over this. 'Do you have no respect for the institution of marriage!!??'

This generally works well. Of course, you kinda need to be married.

Originally Posted by carlosX

"Are you a player?"

'Players are good at being attractive, but they have no depth. I'm a pickup artist. I won't sleep with you until we have a deep emotional connection. And I know how to lead us there.'

Originally Posted by carlosX

"Do you say this to all the girls?"

'Only the dull nerdy ones.'

Originally Posted by carlosX

"I'm not having sex with you..."

'Huh? Oh, yeah!' wink 'Gotcha. No WAY we're having sex.' Hushed tone, 'I think we fooled them.'

[K-Man]

Originally Posted by carlosX

"What do you do?"
"What kind of car do you drive?"
"Where do you work?"
"How old are you?"

I don't consider these tests, I just answer them, I don't see the problem?

Originally Posted by carlosX

"Are you picking up on me?"
"Are you a player?"
"Do you say this to all the girls?"
"I'm not having sex with you..."

If this happens, I think "What did I do to end up in this mess?" so I can fix it at the root of the problem, rather than think about how to solve it in the situation.

I like your first response to the "not having sex"-thing btw.

[Dimos]

"What do you do?"

"Where do you work?"

It depends. If i get something like that very early on, like 2 minutes (in the middle of the opener), i consider it to be some red flag on her part. So i tell her something like the 'lighter refiller'. But if she asks later on when we are already having a good conversation, i just tell her.

"What kind of car do you drive?"

Actually, i do not get that stuff very much. In fact i remember only one occasion, when she asked me very early in the interaction, and i teased her with something like 'what sort of question is this?' . It made her a bit self aware and then she continued normal.

"How old are you?"

Guess! And then i tell her. If she continues about being too young or too old (i am 29) i tell her some pre-prepared lines i got. One of them is making a rime in greek and has a very strong sexual element in it.

"Are you picking up on me?"
"Are you a player?"
"Do you say this to all the girls?"

I use the lines from the approach program mostly. But when a girl asks me the last two, i consider them as IOIs. I just need to work on building trust.

"I'm not having sex with you..."

The best one! I actually got that only twice, in non pick-up situations. The first one meant it. The second one... well, we were friends, and i was visiting her on her new house which was still empty. So at some point she tells me something like 'come see the view'. I kissed her, we started making out a bit and she cut it off with the exact same line as above. At first i was startled, and then i LJBFed her. We went for a drink later on, i was in a high mood like nothing happened, and then we went back to her house and ... continued 8)

[curry]

"What do you do?"

You have got three guesses (holding three fingers in the air)

"What kind of car do you drive?"

I use the bus

"Where do you work?"

Why do you ask ?

"How old are you?"

To old to tell you
"Are you picking up on me?"

Why do you ask ? are you offering ?

"Are you a player?"

Dont think I will ever make it to Wimbeldon

"Do you say this to all the girls?"

Why are you jealous ?

"I'm not having sex with you..."

Maybe when we get to know each other

[McKhiel]

"What do you do?"

"I'm a butt/ass double for old men in movies."
"I'm a Chippendale's dancer."

After a couple jokes and redirecting the conversation, I ususally tell them my job in the form of _____ TECHNICIAN.

"What kind of car do you drive?"

I usually just tell them because I have a nice car, but a good alternate is a cocky/funny:

"What are you sizing me up for marraige or something? What's next questions about my family, how much money I make?"

"How old are you?"

I usually state my age and if it is an older woman saying how she's is X years older I say:

"Well it wasn't an issue until you brought it up...." in a very matter-of-fact way. Never fails.

"Are you picking up on me?"

"Is that what you want? A player?" they say no and I ignore the issue.

"Do you say this to all the girls?"

- I actually got this in the form of "Wow do you rehearse this stuff?"
I usually play it off like I don't but should switch to:

"Only the ones I am interested in and right now that's you..."

"I'm not having sex with you..."

"Sex....damn right you aren't. You haven't earned that yet." :P

[Danny611]

"What do you do?"

Im the world's tallest midget... sometimes Im also the world's shortest giant.

Im an ass model... perhaps you've seen my work.

Im the ketchup manager at Taco Bell.

I go into old buildings and remove asbestos with my bare hands (cough cough).

I model women's underwear.

I fix disposable cigarette lighters... I feel it's important to make a difference in the community.

[I can keep that up all night. If they get the hint and change the subject, I will eventually tell them (I am an attorney). If not, they are history. The last thing I need is a gold-digger on my hands.]


"What kind of car do you drive?"

1981 Chevette. 120K miles and no bumper. You'll love it.


"How old are you?"

Old enough to know not to answer a question like that; OR

53 (I am 30)


"Are you picking up on me?"

C'mon, if you want me to give you my number, you're going to have to do better than that. Why dont you just buy me a drink already.


"I'm not having sex with you..."

Sex? With you? Gross! (and then continue doing what you were doing).

[LeiterCIA]

As I focus on confidence, and work on my approaches, I seem to get this one more and more lately. This is the answer that seems to work best; it incorporates a little teasing and cockyness. Always delivered with a smile and a laugh...

Her: "Are you a player?"

Me: "Hey... just cause you're already falling for me, doesn't mean I must be some kind of a player."