Ash's journey to success in cold approach - 1

[Ash]

Hey guys,

Just decided to start posting my experiences online... To present myself, I'm Ash, 25 yrs old & started alpha lifestyle in November 2007.... I now have my life together, my career too, my social network, my passions & had some HBs too in the process. I date chicks through parties I'm invited to & through online dating sites.

I decided to start cold approaches today. ... Got thinking a lot about how I always rely on my social network & online dating recently (& conversation with some other Alpha fellows helped too as did "Casino Royale"), & realized that it really was bizarre that I could face a 230 pound man charging at me in rugby without any fear, & not be able to just cold approach a sweet 110 pound chick.... I realised that I had just put off cold approach to later when I would have sufficiently dated (Convenient little excuse isn't it? )

So I've decided to grow some real balls & start it. I just said heck, let's do something about it.. And decided for phase 1, interact with HBs... So I started with some "Stare at a chick, smile & say hi without waiting for a response) & thought it was funny how staring & saying hi was easy but giving that good natured smile was NOT...

So I went to a store I'm always at, went to the woman cashier I knew well, said hi with a good smile since I knew her started having some small talk with her. & left with a feeling of, "I'll just remember her sweet smiling face & say hi to any HB thinking it was her.. My smile was more authentic afer this.

After some time, I decided to extend a bit & start a conversation.. Went zoning in the hall centre, could not, at the moment, figure out how to COOLY approach a woman walking on the street & decided to approach women at malls...

Went shopping & saw a chick & gave her "I'm buying a gift for my sis's anniversary. What would you offer to your sis?" opener. She started to tell me that she had only brothers & why not buy this & that... After some time, she just told me that I should go to a particular place & I just ended it like this. My 1st thoughts: Hey I did it.. Great!!! Now for phase 2, I'll just have to learn how to bridge from small talk to C& F.. Funny how I can do it now effortlessly in parties or one 1st dates from online dating but not in cold approaches....

Next I went to the library & opened with a "which of these 2 books would you prefer if you were learning how to cook?" .. Damn it was funny.. She started blushing and telling me that she did not work there. Nearly caught me off guard & I just burst out laughing telling her, "Hey I know but you're just one of the only adorable girls at about my age here".. Which got her laughing & we talked for a bit about cooking & what we did in life. I could & should have progressed & closed but only wanted interactions today. So I left it at that & she left... Feeling good, I decided to go home since I was invited for dinner... Went to a grocery to buy some food for the week & while paying, I just opened the cashier with a "Hey, I like your ring. What's the story behind it?".. She started talking about it for 5 min with a growing list of customers waiting to pay looking at me furiously but that was not my problem.. C & F her a lot about it when she started telling me it was a medieval ring in which princesses put poison in it & she loved it.. Left it at that too...

My feelings just after : Hey I did not get bitched on by any of the chick I interacted with (not counting all those who did not say hi but that's their problem) ... But being able to "cold-approach" with a chick I don't know is not as hard as I imagined.. Will continue & progress to phase 2 after this... An exhilarating feeling. I finally started! The 1st step has been done.

Got home, went to the dinner.. Which was ok but got boring after a while & I decided to get home early to interact tomorrow again.

Will keep you posted on it...

[Mr Joel]

NICE!!! Good one man!!!

[JishyB]

This is enlightening and really encouraging! Keep it up.

[mikijam09]

hey you can also try the laundry mat thats a good place to meet a girl, i tried out one and it worked!! got phone number and a date!! and dont forget startbucks on saturday night before going to a club, but dont forget to bring a book if you have to study!! YOU WONT believe how many girls go and study on a saturday night!!!....
i am gonna keep trying out places!!!!... good luck my friend...

[carlosx]

I'm glad you guys are sharing these experiences... They also help me re-engineer my teachings so that I can be more effective at helping guys get past their approach anxiety.

I'm finding two schools of thought to overcoming approach anxiety:

School 1: Just come up with a trick, a technique, whatever it takes to just approach right that second and blow past the anxiety without even considering it. Just get to an approach mindset as fast as you can. In other words - approach fast.

School 2: Find a technique to remove the anxiety and reluctance FIRST and then do the approach. In other words - manage the emotional state first, then approach.

Which do you find is more helpful/effective for you?