How can I remove my two main blocks?

[Ghoro]

Hey I have come to the conclusion that there are two big things stopping me not only with women, but just with every thing in life. The two things are procrastinating and always caring too much about what other people think. One example of how I care too much of what other people think is when I think of approaching someone I think more about what the people around the target would think and they don’t even have to be part of her group. Another is when I’m talking to someone and there are other people around if I’m about to say something that I think others may think is weird my volume will greatly lower. Also with this I get stuck in the same personality with people I know even a little because I think that they would find it odd for me to change at all so I never try. There are many more that I can think of, but you get the idea.

As for procrastinating I just about procrastinate everything I can, school work, learning this PUA stuff, little things I need to do, going out and I even procrastinated righting this.

I believe that if I could remove these two things my life will greatly change for the better. So has any one gone through the same thing or just have any idea how I can start to remove them? Or just where I should look to maybe find my answer?

Thanks

[STRUTTER]

Ghoro! You've come to the right place, bro! You can find the answers to your question on this forum, and the following link...

I direct you to here, my friend.

Judging from your post, I sense that you're probably a successful individual if you focus on your goals and have a deadline. You definately need to be pushed, like many prosperous people, in order to acheive your goals. I, too, have gone through the same things as you, but have managed to get over them with perseverance and competence. So will you...

My advice to you is to read the article, start writing goals and how you'll meet them, make a deadline for each one, and create a schedule for yourself on how your days will work out. Do that now.

Once you've done that, read them twice daily -- Once before shut eye, and again after you wake up.

This should help you achieve your goals more immediately in life.

Anyways, I think a good way to stop caring about what people are thinking is to stop. Sounds pretty obvious right? Correct.

Stop telling yourself that you care about what people think, and keep telling yourself, "I'm secure with myself. I have everything to gain." Then find a POSITIVE motivation for whatever it is you're doing. It can be a having a learning experience, get to know more people, be more known to people, or anything, just as long as it's POSTIIVE!

Also, if you find yourself in that situation again, try to remember a time where you felt confident in yourself. Then act it out. Do it thought for thought, physiology for physiology, and tonality for tonality. Remember: Once you change your physiology, your state of mind changes DRAMATICALLY!

That's why people tell their children to look up when they're crying. And that's most certainly why a person can feel insecure when they lower their voice!

Good luck! And let us know how everything's coming along...

Best,
STRUTTER

[Pacman]

Carlos talks in a fair length in his E - Book, "Secrets of the Alpha Male" about the concept of forgeting yourself. In the two EXTENSIVE years of studying seduction, dating, etc, this one small section is his e book has helped me more than anything. We must forget ourselves, and give without expectation. Still be a man, still be C & F, but forget ourselves, our jaded past, our negative experience, our reputation, our ego, etc.

When one is free of their ego, they are able to be free of rejection, and a lot of other worries, anxieties, and the just plain bad emotions that are associated with pride. I'm still C & F... without question. I still dominate the room pretty well. The difference in perspective is that I'm doing it to give to other people, not to take. It's not about me getting ANYTHING, but about me giving.

People can tell if you're trying to take energy from them, or give it to them. They can see/smell your intentions. When you're coming with giving w/ no expectations as your intentions, one would have to be a fool to turn that down.

You'll hear most of David D's interviews talk about how C & F is not about attacking, its about conveying higher status.

"It's better to give than to recieve". - Jesus Christ... heheh

I remember (Although I have'nt watched it) that David D talks about this is the Mastery Series. The PUA's are coming up, asking for nothing, and giving the greatest gift there is... which is, "Feeling Good".

When you adopt this philosophy, you will be given back to, because you did'nt ask for it. It really could be compared to the whole, "Law of attraction" bit, although I don't think it went into enough detail there.

Again, forget about yourself... forget about your reputation, forget about your mistakes, your past, all that negative, the girls reaction or lack thereof, ALL THAT. Forget about yourself, and give to others. Be C & F, dominate the room, and still have drive, but drive to give. The more you give without expectation, the more you get. It may sound hard to grasp, but its really not. It's a much easier/pleasant way of living.

If Carlos gave me the ok... I'd post the section about Forgetting yourself from his book. Its a little over 500 words so I wanted to avoid copyrights.

[Ghoro]

Thank you too both of you.

There is so much great stuff here that I can’t comment on it all. But I’m going to start implementing every thing you guys talked about.

So again thank you.

[royaltyw]

he two things are procrastinating and always caring too much about what other people think.

I used to be a bad procrastinator back in the day. I would leave everything for the last minute. In order to get over this, I started setting myself up in situations where I 'couldn't' procrastinate. I eliminated any opportunity to push things back, which in turn 'forced' me to act. This might be a bit intimating at first, but it worked well for me in the end.

In my experience, individuals who care about what people think are seeking approval, they want to be liked and accepted, which may come from a low self esteem. People in general don't respect anyone seeking approval, especially women.

I don't need anyone's approval to feel good about myself. Why should I? If anything, they need to seek my approval because I am very picky about the type of people I keep close to me.

There is nothing special about anyone unless the value is put on them by you. And value is what it all comes down to. The person who holds himself (or herself) with the highest value always comes out on top. The question is, where do you want to be, at the bottom of the pile, or high on top?

[Ghoro]

Thanks royaltyw. Just one thing how did you put you’re self in situations where you couldn't procrastinate?

Also I made a list of goals, but I know it needs some help. What do you guys think I should change/add/remove for goals and the steps? Is there any big steps or goals you think I’m missing?

Thanks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MY GOALS

Short-term
1. Get a GPA of 3.00 or more next semester.

Short-term too Long-term
2. Become the Alpha man/PUA that can socialize with any one with no fear and be the Alpha man people want to be around.
3. Become the Alpha man/ PUA that sexy women find very attractive and just want to be around.

Long-term
4. Move to Japan.
5. Have a job that I love to do.

The Steps
Get a GPA of 3.00 or more next semester.
1. Go to every class.
2. Do all work as soon as you can.
3. Read all chapters needed and take notes
4. Take notes in class.
5. Tape record class and listen to it while taking notes.
6. Study 2 hours for each class every week or more if needed.
7. When you find out about a test study 2 hours or more if needed every day until test.

Become the Alpha man/PUA that can socialize with any one with no fear and be the Alpha man people want to be around
1. Pay full attention when someone is speaking to me
2. Avoid trying to impress people with my stories
3. Talk to one new person every day.
4. Do one thing a day you may find embarrassing/uncomfortable like yelling out loud to a friend far away or something goofy when it fits.

Become the Alpha man/ PUA that sexy women find very attractive and just want to be around.
1. Start reading books on seduction
2. Wash every day
3. Only wear clean clothes. Wash clothes 1 a week and fold them. Iron when needed.
4. Get a new haircut
5. Wash hair every day and style it
6. Find 2 to 5 new routines/can lines that you like and fit your personality every week and use them 3 to 5 times that week.
7. Workout 4 times or more a week using your routine.
8. Do 1 or more approaches a week.
9. Read a book 4 hours or more every week.


Move to Japan.
1. Take Japanese lessons.
2. Get good grades in college.
3. Get a college degree.

Have a job that I love to do.
???

[GCC]

I don't want to pretent to be an expert in setting goals but I think I may suggest some improvement:

Originally Posted by Ghoro

Short-term too Long-term
2. Become the Alpha man/PUA that can socialize with any one with no fear and be the Alpha man people want to be around.
3. Become the Alpha man/ PUA that sexy women find very attractive and just want to be around.

They are the same thing. An alpha man is welcome by both the same and opposite sex. You better just say "I want to be an alpha man who everyone, men and women, wants to be around with." And then in the "steps" section, divide it into "general" and "women" subcategories.

Originally Posted by Ghoro

Long term
5. Have a job that I love to do.

It is written badly because you don't quite seem to know what you want to do (yet), otherwise you would have explicitly stated you want to enter a certain industry or whatever.

Better say: I want to find out what kind of person I am and what I really want to do.

Originally Posted by Ghoro

Get a GPA of 3.00 or more next semester.
2. Do all work as soon as you can.
5. Tape record class and listen to it while taking notes.
6. Study 2 hours for each class every week or more if needed.
7. When you find out about a test study 2 hours or more if needed every day until test.

No. 2 is vague. Maybe you want to mean "do all work no later than one day after it is assigned"?

No. 5 is in theory well written, but I doubt if it is really necessary. What subject are you studying? Do you have the equipment and the patience to do it everyday?

For No. 6, I don't know how many subjects you have got and how close is your exam, but 2 hours seem too long for me. Unless you are in the situation of no.7, I think one hour and a half maximum (that is, 2 x 45 mins sessions, with rest in between) per subject per week will be very enough.

Originally Posted by Ghoro

Become the Alpha man/PUA
2. Avoid trying to impress people with my stories
3. Talk to one new person every day.
4. Do one thing a day you may find embarrassing/uncomfortable like yelling out loud to a friend far away or something goofy when it fits.

No. 2 is terrible. When you set goals, you have to state what you want to do, not what you DON'T want to do. Alternatives like "I only tell stories when it is socially appropriate" is much better.

For no. 3, I think it will be hard to get someone new to talk to as it goes on. Maybe talking to at least 3 nonfriends everyday, each for at least one minute, is a better goal?

And I just don't get no. 4.

Originally Posted by Ghoro

Become the Alpha man/ PUA that sexy women find very attractive and just want to be around.
6. Find 2 to 5 new routines/can lines that you like and fit your personality every week and use them 3 to 5 times that week.
7. Workout 4 times or more a week using your routine.
9. Read a book 4 hours or more every week.

No. 6: I think 3 will be very enough. I actually went to meet girls without any canned opener when I was in university.

No. 7: 4 times a week is definitely a lot of time. So think, which one is more important, studying or pumping iron?

No. 9: Same comment as No. 7.

Originally Posted by Ghoro

Move to Japan.
1. Take Japanese lessons.
2. Get good grades in college.
3. Get a college degree.

I am sorry, but I think that no. 2 and 3 are irrelevant to moving to Japan, and more importantly, do you have time for learning Japanese after having your aggressive goals on studying, socializing and body building? If you don't plan to learn Japanese in the short term, simply write it off, and add it back when you have time.

And I can tell you from my personal experience that staying in a foreign country is not easy. I am a Chinese from Hong Kong and I studied in the United Kingdom for university for 3 years. It took me a hard time to mix with the local English. Apart from the language problem, there is also a cultural barrier. I didn't know the singers they listened to, just as they did not grow up with the tele programs I watched. You've got to be really sociable, outgoing and open to new experience to overcome the difficulties, and be willing to endure the alienation between you and the rest of the world before you can speak and hear their language better and know more about their life.

In Hong Kong, schools sometimes recruit British and Americans to teach English. However, it is very usual to see them quit and return to their own country after just a year or so, because they simply cannot enter the main stream life in Hong Kong. They can't play Ma-Jong, they don't sing karaoke, whereas we don't drink in pubs, nor do we follow rugby or cricket (for the English), or american football or baseball (for the American). Not to even mention they share no common topics with their co-workers. And I can tell you, the Japanese are so much more shier and close-minded than us, so you can imagine how your life will be if you are not by nature sociable and adventurous.

[Ghoro]

Thanks for your help GCC.

It is written badly because you don't quite seem to know what you want to do (yet), otherwise you would have explicitly stated you want to enter a certain industry or whatever.

Better say: I want to find out what kind of person I am and what I really want to do.

Yeah your right I don’t really know. I’m doing programming right now, but I still have doubts. Mainly the fear of maybe having to work more then 40 hours a week and even weekends and the other is just not knowing if there is just something better out there.

I do agree the new goal sounds better, but I don’t really know what steps you would take.

No. 5 is in theory well written, but I doubt if it is really necessary. What subject are you studying? Do you have the equipment and the patience to do it everyday?

I have the equipment to do it, but I have never tried it before. I got the idea from one of my computer teachers when he told the class how he did it for every class. I think I will change it to only do it for the classes I think I really need to. Which really seems to just be Fundamentals of Business, but will have to see once I start the classes.

For no. 3, I think it will be hard to get someone new to talk to as it goes on. Maybe talking to at least 3 nonfriends everyday, each for at least one minute, is a better goal?

You’re right, even more so when I think of how small my college is. Now that I think of it if I really did one new person a day I think I would have met over half the people in my college by the end of the year.

And I just don't get no. 4.

4 is to try and brake out of caring what other people think. So I was thinking to just do one thing a day I may have not done out of fear of what others may think, even something like just saying something with a little more energy and louder knowing that other people would hear me. I’m not going to just do this at random, but find a point where it would fit to do something like that.

No. 6: I think 3 will be very enough. I actually went to meet girls without any canned opener when I was in university.

True doing 5 may be a bit much. Also I wasn’t thinking of getting can openers, more thinking of a few routines or lines to help when I run out of things to say and to just use them to get the idea of how they work so that I can make my own.

No. 7: 4 times a week is definitely a lot of time. So think, which one is more important, studying or pumping iron?

Well I already have been doing it for 4 times a week for a few months now, so I’m just trying to keep up the routine I have been doing.

No. 9: Same comment as No. 7.

This one is really important I think. Because I’m dyslexic and my reading and righting has been getting better slowly it’s still pretty bad (I’m using a program right now to read what you guys type). About a week ago I started to read a book and will keep trying to read more in the hopes to get better. But maybe I will take it down to only 3 or 2 hours a week.

I am sorry, but I think that no. 2 and 3 are irrelevant to moving to Japan, and more importantly, do you have time for learning Japanese after having your aggressive goals on studying, socializing and body building? If you don't plan to learn Japanese in the short term, simply write it off, and add it back when you have time.

And I can tell you from my personal experience that staying in a foreign country is not easy. I am a Chinese from Hong Kong and I studied in the United Kingdom for university for 3 years. It took me a hard time to mix with the local English. Apart from the language problem, there is also a cultural barrier. I didn't know the singers they listened to, just as they did not grow up with the tele programs I watched. You've got to be really sociable, outgoing and open to new experience to overcome the difficulties, and be willing to endure the alienation between you and the rest of the world before you can speak and hear their language better and know more about their life.

In Hong Kong, schools sometimes recruit British and Americans to teach English. However, it is very usual to see them quit and return to their own country after just a year or so, because they simply cannot enter the main stream life in Hong Kong. They can't play Ma-Jong, they don't sing karaoke, whereas we don't drink in pubs, nor do we follow rugby or cricket (for the English), or american football or baseball (for the American). Not to even mention they share no common topics with their co-workers. And I can tell you, the Japanese are so much more shier and close-minded than us, so you can imagine how your life will be if you are not by nature sociable and adventurous.

Yes I know it’s not going to be easy, thing is I want to go there because Asians are basically my 8’s, 9’s and 10’s, I don’t know why it just is. When I went to Japan this summer every where I turned there was another cute girl and there was no possible way to have scarcity thinking. Unlike my college where I already know that I’m going to have to lower my standards to try and get some practice. Not because there are no Asians, but most of the women are very over weight or just over all not good looking, but that’s what I get for going to a little agriculture college in the middle of no where. But I’m going to be transferring after this semester.

So yeah I don’t really know where I’m going in life with my job or where I’m living.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So here is my new list.

MY GOALS

Short-term
1. Get a GPA of 3.00 or more next semester.

Short-term too Long-term
2. I want to be an alpha man who everyone, men and women, wants to be around with.

Long-term
3. I want to find out what kind of person I am and find out really where I want to live and what I want to do for a job.

The Steps
Get a GPA of 3.00 or more next semester.
1. Go to every class.
2. Do all work no later than one day after it is assigned.
3. Read all chapters needed and take notes
4. Take notes in class.
5. Tape record class and listen to it while taking notes.
6. Study one hour and a half maximum (2 x 45 mins sessions, with rest in between) per subject per week.
7. When you find out about a test study 2 hours or more if needed every day until test.

I want to be an alpha man who everyone, men and women, wants to be around with.
General
1. Pay full attention when someone is speaking to me
2. I only tell stories when it is socially appropriate
3. Talk to at least 3 nonfriends everyday, each for at least one minute
4. Do one thing a day you may find embarrassing/uncomfortable like yelling out loud to a friend far away or something goofy when it fits.
5. Wash every day
6. Only wear clean clothes. Wash clothes 1 a week and fold them. Iron when needed.
7. Get a new haircut
8. Wash hair every day and style it
9. Workout 4 times or more a week using your routine.
10. Read a book 2 to 3 hours or more every week.

Women
1. Start reading books on seduction
2. Find 2 to 3 new routines/can lines that you like and fit your personality every week and use them 3 to 5 times that week.
3. Do 1 or more approaches a week.

[STRUTTER]

The list is much better, Ghoro! You've made a lot of improvement in your new list of goals, especially making them more achievable. I can tell that you're going to be successful if you stick with it.

I'm just going to share with you a few quick stuff, if you don't mind.

These are solutions to some problems I have:

1) Invest in a good memory program. This can improve your grades, and will serve as leverage and save time. There's a thread in the "Alpha Resources" section about that. Go check it out and see how you like it.

2) Sometimes if you have one of those lazy days (many of us do), it can help to think of your motivation, think of your goals, and say this affirmation: "I am willing to do whatever it takes, no matter what, to make myself better and better everyday in every way."

3) If you're like me, and need a push, it helps tremendously to make a schedule for yourself by the minute. Have time for leisure activity and possible interuptions in your schedule. Speaking from experience, it is important to include these things because during school days, everybody's asking me to help them in homework. And it's a good thing, if you play your cards right. 8)

4) Do keep us updated in how everything's coming together, maybe some FR's if you have to.

Congrats! You're now 10 times more likely to achieve your goals more sooner and better. Kudos, bro.


All The Best,
STRUTTER

[GCC]

One problem remain unsolved: How to know who you really are.

I found a Chinese fortune telling website, which generates a discription of the user's personality from his birth year, month, day and time. I tried it and it is quite accurate about me. I think Ghoro may give me his and I will give it a try.

Anyone who is interested may leave their birth year, month, day and time as well.

By the way, if you are so intelligent that you can read Chinese yourself, you can go to the website directly:

http://www.life-guide.com.tw/free.php