Irreparable Damage and How to fix it?

[RabPSU1986]

Hey guys,

I hope Carlos can shed some light on this issue, but as usual, I'd like to hear everyone's perspective on it, as it's dangerous shit.

I've been going out with my girlfriend for just over a year now.

In the beginning of our relationship, before we decided to go exclusive, I made a bunch of stupid comments to her about other specific girls that I found attractive.

Although things are better and stronger than ever, she still brings it up sometimes and believes that I'm a typical 23-year old guy that likes to look at other girls.

I'm afraid that what I said all the way back then is irreparable. I feel as though I will never be able to fix what I said, in other words. I did appear weak tonight when she brought it up again and we got into it a little.

Any suggestions or advice on how to handle this, now and in the future? We both know that we love each other - I'm just trying to find the best way to handle this like an Alpha Male, as I have in many other situations. This just has me stuck. All suggestions would be appreciated.

Hope all is well with all of you during the holiday season.

Kev

[StevenTijs]

It sounds like to me like she's a bit scared that you might like other women, or a bit let down by the fact that she's not the only girl you're interested in (what might be a good sign!).

Maybe it helps to say something like:

- A typical 23 years-old guy wouldn't stay with one girl for a year. But rather goes for a one night stand.
Does this look as a one night stand to you? (with a bit of a surprised and amused tone in your voice).

- Well, every person looks at people from the opposite sex. Still, we're together for a long time and I haven't met a girl I liked more than you.


So when you say something like that, she might get a bigger sense of safety in your relationship but she still knows you're scarce and that you still haven't made the decision to stay with her forever (a decision you should never make definite).

Would like to hear your thoughts on it

cheers!